I Can't Relate to DesGUILTY ON ALL 34 FUCKING COUNTSperation: The 41 Best Songs of 2024 So Far (#20-1)
Steve Albini dream-came-true'd it for you
Call him Jeffrey Dahmer: AyooLii
20. AyooLii, “Talkalot”
In which DIY YouTube data-dump rap’s crown dumbass confirms he’s also its best beatmaker. If he was at all motivated to transmute these gifts into Actual Songs he’d be too powerful.
19. Tyla feat. Gunna & Skillibeng, “Jump”
For whatever reason, practitioners of Afrobeats have too light a touch; maybe they’re trying to match the airy rhythms. So this is a just-perfect corrective that earns its amapiano and belatedly enters the long-puzzling Gunna into my canon as a bonus.
18. Katy the Kyng, “Shithole”
Long live the self-destructing one-woman girl-group pop song.
17. Tinashe, “Nasty”
Turns out “is somebody gonna match my freak?” is a great rhyme for both “technique,” and, if she bends you into position a little, “athlete.” If you can keep up with her unlikely chord changes, it’s her second career-best-since-“2 On”/“Pretend” in as many years. And 333 was no slouch.
16. Chappell Roan, “Good Luck, Babe!”
I recused myself from Chappell Roan last year because her lyrics had a self-satisfied uncleverness her hooks didn’t quite make up for, and she’s still working on that. “It’s a sexually explicit kind of love affair” — uh, yeah I sure hope it does. But this time she came prepared: “I’m cliché, who cares?” So I can’t say shit. Think a Katy Perry from a timeline where “I Kissed a Girl” portended a queer awakening in more than just her faithful. My partner hears Cyndi Lauper in her first Hot 100 hit and I hear Dan Nigro.
15. Shellac, “I Don’t Fear Hell”
Everyone’s already more or less said the same thing: for a man incapable of artifice to go out with this Bowiean finale may be proof there’s a hell after all. But I doubt he’s in it. His drum sound was a vice too rich for the sinners.
14. NLE Choppa, “Slut Me Out 2”
Not only did he do it again, he did it disco. And he even dodged the temptation to make the sequel filthier.
13. Waxahatchee feat. MJ Lenderman, “Right Back to It”
One of those perfect songs that requires zooming out; comes so easy that it’s hard to notice at first that it hasn’t already been melodized thousands of times before. Of course Lenderman’s harmonies line-drive it into the neighbor’s yard. You can bet it’s in rotation on god’s Vh1.
12. Tommy Richman, “Million Dollar Baby”
Even more nonsensical than “Espresso” because there’s no troll angle to the words, no secret viral logic— the topline of this banger is just clinging to syllables to survive. And who is this guy, anyway? Down to the name, he’s got to be a douche, right? So the anonymity favors him; the disembodied quality of the falsetto reminds me of Jai Paul: beautifully layered electrofunk that just happens to be haunted by some guy. His debut single was notably called “Ballin’ Stalin.” Baby, he’s a richman now.
11. Lorde, “Take Me to the River”
Can’t keep down the greatest song ever, so she manages find new pockets to sex it up, from retrofuturist bloopbleeps to bad-download fakeout bits. Juicy singing, too.
10. Dan Ex Machina, “Hot Honey”
It’s the horny chicken song. You’re welcome!
9. Shaboozey, “A Bar Song (Tipsy)”
One of those hits where the chord progression writes its own check, forever betrothed to lyrics at least 40% written by J-Kwon. Yes, J-Kwon sampled for the lyrics. Country already used up the brickwalled stomp-clap.
8. Olivia Rodrigo, “So American”
Everything you want from a bonus track: a miracle improves the album proper and as a bonus is faster and (maybe) rocks harder than anything on it. In fact, it’s faster than anything Paramore ever did in their pop-punk days either, which is why they don’t get a songwriting credit and also why it won’t follow “Good 4 U” to the top of the Hot 100. So what’s this thrashing new-waver about? “He says I’m pretty wearing his clothes,” “He laughs at all my jokes,” “Oh god, I’m gonna marry him if he keeps this shit up.” Euphoric motherfucking new-crush bliss. Enjoy it while it lasts, because it won’t — not at this speed anyway. And may god have mercy on our souls if it’s about Taylor’s ex.
7. Sabrina Carpenter, “Espresso”
In which the first smart cookie I’ve heard use the word “catastrophizing” in a song sells out her likeness rights to the ChatGPT overlords for an all-conquering bimbo blitzkrieg that also just happens to be a bop.
3-6. Kendrick Lamar, “Euphoria”/“6:16 in LA”/“Meet the Grahams”/“Not Like Us”
Lest you (or Questlove) kid yourself into thinking hip-hop takes the high road just because it turned 50 or whatever, just rewatch episode one of Netflix’s Ladies First docuseries where 14-year-old Roxanne Shanté’s battle opponent invites her to “suck my dick and die.” I don’t know what dying planet you live on but if I’m gonna fry when the polar ice caps melt, at least I’ll have enjoyed folk hero Pulitzer Kenny landing two of his four chart-toppers (and still half of his solo two) by excoriating the people’s ex-champ Drake, who is Definitely Not Diddling Kids. Picking just one from Kendrick’s masterful 21-minute rock opera/four-act play/concept EP would be like choosing which kid gets to live. Sure, the international committee of haters chose “Not Like Us” as the pick hit to compete in the Song of the Summer triathlon, and one could make the argument these combined might be rap’s crowning achievement on the albums list instead. But they deserve to be honored in their brilliant original form: four deadly venoms detonated with military timing, including the relatively underhyped “6:16 in LA,” which boasts the best beat in the whole mess. Even Future’s hyped-up “Like That,” even Drake’s own too-brief brush with victory “Family Matters,” all benefit from the blast radius that got everyone fired up about event-level rap again for one jaw-dropping weekend. Our national treasure didn’t take any chances — even took a page from Machiavellian warlord T. Swift and recruited Jack Antonoff for the kill.
2. Rosie Tucker, “All My Exes Live in Vortexes”
Like a punnier Emperor X, Rosie Tucker’s greatest hit cheerfully arranges a colorful bouquet from varying shades of entropy. The “middle-sized fish” stuck in the Pacific Trash Vortex. The Amazon deliverer pissing in the bottle. The ex they imagine consuming it just to remember them as our data centers degrade. If that’s a bit much, well, they want ever-y-thing ever-y-thing everything all at once. And they get it.
1. Charli XCX, “Von Dutch”
It’s so obvious, I’m your number one.